Confessions of a Wechat Groupaholic 一个微信组狂的自白

Posted on Posted in Culture, Funny, Life, Pop Culture, Technology, Wechat

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“Hi, my name is Bobby and I’m a

Wechat Group-aholic…”

(Everyone reply together: “Hi Bobby…”)

They say the first step on the road to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Well, take this as my not-so-subtle cry for help.

I’m no addict, but as of this writing I am a proud member of exactly 249 Wechat Groups.

I’m a part of groups for everything under the sun. And since it’s Mid-Autumn Festival, let’s say everything under the moon as well. No joke.

I have groups for birthday parties; I have groups for going away parties. Some are from 4 years ago.

I have groups for friends, of course, but I also have groups excluding certain friends.

I have groups for coworkers and we definitely have separate groups without our bosses.

We have those private groups set up during work conferences to get everyone “connected”; some got promptly deleted, but some still linger.

I have groups for speaking English, Chinese, Russian, Spanish, Arabic… I don’t even speak Russian.

I have a group for cool Taobao finds and a group for just sharing ebook files.

I have groups that help expats; I have groups that ridicule expats.

I have groups for teachers; I have a group for non-teachers.

Please don’t ask how I got in a “Fans of Bennylicked Cabbagepatch” group.

Can’t forget the group for entrepenuers and the group helping people get businesses started in China.

I have music groups and art groups.

I have groups for job postings; I have groups for job scam postings.

There are groups for selling used things and groups for selling “new” things.

About a third of my groups are completely dedicated to spam. You know which ones I’m talking about. And no, it’s not about the lovely can of precooked meat.

I’m in groups for various restaurants and bars in town; one of my favorites is all about döner kebabs.

I’m in a group for craft beer drinkers and a separate group for cigar connoisseurs. Not to mention the homebrewers group.

I have different groups for literally every sport I’ve ever played –

a group for badminton,
a group for ping pong,
a group for volleyball,
a group for bowling,
a group for poker,
a group for longboarding,
a group for baseball,
a group for fitness,
a group for roller derby,
a group for UFC,
a group for swing dancing,
a group for salsa dancing,
a group for square dancing,
a handful of groups for football,
a group for fantasy football…
and yes, a group for good old fashioned polka.

I have multiple groups just for sharing and cataloguing Wechat Stickers. That 150 sticker limit got reached eons ago.

Finally, I’m even a member of a Wechat group where the sole topic of the group is Wechat itself. Seriously.

Help. Me.

To assist with the next 11 steps in the recovery process, I’ve started a brand new Wechat group titled “Wechat Groupaholics Anonymous”… join today! 👍🏽

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I can’t quit you, Wechat!

Feel free to send to any other friends who you might think are suffering from a similar addiction…

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